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The Role of Cognitive Distortions

Thinking Traps That Undermine Relationships

Unhelpful thinking patterns, often called cognitive distortions or negative thinking traps can  significantly impact family dynamics and relationships. When parents or family members fall into these patterns, they may unintentionally create confusion and emotional distress for themselves, their children, and others in the family


How Thinking Traps Affect Families

  • Children exposed to these environments may begin to mirror these distorted ways of thinking, especially during  stressful times or when struggling with mental health challenges.
  • These patterns are typically inaccurate and biased, reinforcing negative beliefs and emotions.
  • Without awareness and intervention, these thinking traps can lead to ongoing psychological difficulties and strained relationships.


Common Cognitive Distortions in Families 

Some frequent thinking traps include:

  • All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white terms, with no room for nuance.
  • Catastrophising: Expecting the worst possible outcome, even when evidence suggests otherwise.
  • Blaming: Attributing all problems to one person or event, rather than seeing the bigger picture.
  • Emotional Reasoning: Believing that negative feelings reflect reality ("I feel unloved, so I must be unloved").
  • Overgeneralisation: Drawing broad conclusions from a single incident.


Why Understanding Matters 

Recognising how cognitive distortions develop in  parents, children, and other family members is a crucial step toward healthier relationships. By learning to identify and challenge these  thinking traps, families can:

  • Improve communication and understanding
  • Reduce unnecessary conflict and emotional pain
  • Support each other’s mental health and well-being


Supporting Healthier Relationships

  • Education about thinking traps can empower families to break negative cycles.
  • Professional support such as counselling or therapy can provide tools to address and change these patterns.
  • Open dialogue within families encourages empathy and resilience.
     

Awareness and proactive steps can help families move beyond thinking traps, fostering stronger, more supportive relationships.

Half-truths as Distorted Thinking

Half-truths often arise from cognitive distortions that can exaggerate, minimise, or selectively filter information. When these distortions are at play, stories may be told in a way that only partially reflects reality, omitting important details or emphasing certain aspects to fit a biased perspective. This can create confusion, reinforce negative beliefs, and harm trust and  relationships within families. Recognising how cognitive distortions contribute to half-truths is an important step in promoting honest, healthy communication.


For a deeper understanding of how half-truths can influence family dynamics and relationships, we recommend reading Amanda Sillars’ insightful article, “Half-Truths and Manipulation.” In this piece, Amanda explores how sharing selective or distorted information  can impact children and families, particularly in situations involving alienation and manipulation. ARTICLE

Cognitive Distortions in Parent-Child Alignment & Rejection

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Parental Alienating Behaviours

are Child Abuse & Family Violence. 

This serious form of abuse and family violence can no longer be ignored.  Parental alienating behaviours must be acknowledged in Australia as it is in other parts of the world. We need legislation that  not only acknowledges its existence but firmly and clearly legislates against it. 

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